Dinner came late for us last night, so we went with a recipe that can boast one of the best Ritz/Time quotients in the culinary world of the postapocalypstic bourgeoisie: the sauté. Spinach, onions, bell peppers, and potatoes from the Whole Foods dumpster (see Oct 5th’s post), turkey that we found in the refrigerator of a recently deceased woman (more on her later), some vegetarian hot dogs that have been in our freezer since we moved in (sorry if that was yours, beloved-but-absent roommates!)… haute cuisine, n’est-ce pas?
A few weeks ago, we dumpstered a packed of Emergen-C packets from a Bristol Farms dumpster — like we’ve said, the dumpsters of the ruling class are the freegan El Dorados — but alas, we ran out JUST as all of our
friends started getting sick. Fear not! Our cup runneth over, and we have an entire box full of oranges and grapefruit ripe for the juicing! In a city where tap water is known to be contaminated with sewage, an alternative to water at the dinner table is always welcome anyway. As anyone who has seen Soylent Green can attest, strawberries are one of the most potent symbols of scandalous excess and luxury in our cultural lexicon. Add a berry or two to the blend, and you’ve got yourself a drink that would make Charlton Heston’s mouth water.
On to desert! Doing anything with bananas other than simply eating them plain is a polite and efficient way of announcing to your peers that you are a better chef and (therefore) a better person than they are. Here at Dumpster Aficionado, we are both of these things, and prefer to make this fact clear on a regular basis. Hence, our desert. Vegan ice cream is the only banana desert I know of that is simpler than fried bananas. Remove the nanners from the freezer, let them soak in some water for a minute before removing the peels, and toss them into a food processor. There’s no need to buy a fancy food processor — ours was only 50¢, as was our juice press.
Add frozen strawberries, press the button, wait sixty seconds, and then…
Done. That’s seriously it. Truly, the world is a magical place. I like to serve it with a dash of cinnamon, but that’s your call.
Aaaaand it’s time to wash our dishes and talk about how awesome we are, but we’ll send you a new freegan dish shortly. Hang tight, and don’t forget your headlamp!